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I never thought I’d fall for a “skater boy.” I didn’t know what type of guy I’d fall for, but in high school, skater boys were considered losers; not to mention, they didn’t have mad skills. They were kinda dirty, very punk, and too “bad” for a little Christian girl like me.
But everyone grows up and their priorities change. Your eyes are opened to different styles of people, and you start to see people for who they really are. Labels and stereotypes are dumb. You must be careful about what groups you place people in, because it’s rare if it is a true statement of who they really are.
My husband is a skater boy (and he hates being called that). He does not fit the standard skater boy description. You might not believe a tall, very white, red-bearded, Scottish guy wearing a Cardinals hat would fit into the skater boy style. But he does. And I love him all the more for it.
People tend to look at the skating community (a term Mike uses often) as a bunch of sketchy dudes with lots of piercings and tattoos. Mike would tell you different. There are a lot of great guys out there who just want to skate. So what if they look a little different than you? For Mike, skateboarding is a way to disconnect from the world, de-stress, and clear his head. Skating is for Mike the way writing is for me. It’s his outlet, and I respect that.
When I tell people that my husband spends most of his time off skateboarding, I get a lot of raised eyebrows. Then they meet him. They learn that this “punk” is Army veteran and spent a year in Afghanistan. I tell them he also plays guitar, loves dogs, and has a gentle soul. Then they realize that he is a great man who loves God and respects life. He is smart, works hard, and encourages me in my creative endeavors.
Some skateboarders do fit the stereotypical mold and wear a certain style of clothes, but human beings are so much deeper than that. And while I don’t know much about skateboarding, I think it’s awesome that Mike has his “thing.” His love for skateboarding will never die.
Sometimes, it may be hard for me to let go and give up “our time” so that he can go skateboarding, but knowing he is happy makes me happy. We’ve learned to meet in the middle. Some days, I go to the skate park with him. Sometimes he goes alone. I’m a homebody, so my hobby is laying on the couch reading a book. Either way, I support him.
Can you imagine if your favorite person in the whole world didn’t support your endeavors? If Mike yelled or belittled me every time I sat down to blog, we wouldn’t be together. If there’s one thing you should do in your relationship, it is to support one another in your creative endeavors. It may not fit the world’s idea of what is acceptable, but the world’s ideas do not matter in relationships. Remember that when you search for a partner and are weighing the pros and cons of their hobbies and the effect it may have on your life together.
So my question is…
Are you dating or married to someone with hobbies that vary from your own? Do you support them in these endeavors? How do you find balance?